Whole30 Week One

It was New Year’s Day 2018, and my family had a great New Year’s Eve seeing Star Wars during the day (and eating two giant tubs of very buttery popcorn, a pack of Twizzlers, and drinking root beer), going to a neighborhood party at night, drinking jello shots and some kind of apple cider moonshine concoction that was delicious (not the kids, I did not let them have moonshine), and ended the night after my four year old stepped in dog poo and completely lost it (it was really funny. Quite possibly the best moment of the night). Rich and I even managed to stay up to watch the ball drop but fell asleep right afterwards.  It was a perfect night. I woke up the next morning feeling incredibly pumped and full of energy to get the new year started and enjoy my first day on the Whole30 plan!  Just kidding, I woke up very hungover and felt like shit from all alcohol and sugar I had consumed the night before.  It was pretty awful.  The kids were still asleep when I woke up, WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, but unfortunately, I had committed to creating half of our YMCA group’s workout, so I had to get my butt up and get to the gym.  I could not let my team down, especially as it was day one on Whole30 for a few of them as well. So I dragged my ass out of bed, got dressed, grabbed a Whole30 compliant RXbar, and got to the Y.  Usually I would get a Starbucks Americano with cream and sugar and a blueberry muffin as my pre-workout breakfast of choice, but I committed to Whole30 and certainly was not going to fail on my very first meal.  *Side note: RXbars are compliant on Whole30 but only for emergencies.  They want you to eat real food.  I absolutely considered the 10 minutes I had to get to the gym an emergency.

The workout was extra hard.  My friend who came up with the first part of the workout killed us with lots of running, push-ups, froggies and bear crawls, then we had to do my part, which was working our muscles to exhaustion.  It was not pretty, but I made it and I’m so glad I went.  I spent the rest of the day eating eggs, veggies, and apples with almond butter while laying on the couch under the covers with my kids as it was freezing outside and I was still feeling hungover.  This Whole30 thing would be fine.  I could do this.

Today I am on day 7, which just so happens to be my 37th birthday, and I feel good.  I woke up NOT hungover and went to the gym to do some Body Pump.  It’s incredibly rare when I make it to Sunday Pump not hungover.  The Body Pump instructor is in my Whole30 group as well and she had a lot of energy and did a great class, so that certainly helped.  It was the best I felt all week and I am looking forward to what else this Whole30 will bring me.  I know there will still be many rough days, but I needed a day like today to motivate me to keep going, since the rest of the week wasn’t as pleasant…

The first two days were a little hard but nothing terrible.  I was tired and lacked energy but that could have easily been from the NYE partying and just the crazy busy holidays in general, and also getting back into the swing of things with work.  I ate very well and had no problem seeing my husband and kids eat things I was not supposed to.  It felt good to make the choices I made, such as eating a handful of pecans when I was low on energy instead of gummy bears, and feeling the actual benefit of a good snack rather than a sugar crash.  I also learned that I need to eat more at meals.  Because I’m so active, I need a lot of protein and healthy fats to keep my body going.

Cut to days three and four.  They were rough, like I expected them to be, but you don’t really understand it until you’re in it.  It took all of my energy to get to the gym but I’m so glad I did.  The workouts weren’t my best but just being there helped me feel a little better.  Also, people in my Facebook Whole30 group were going through the same thing, so it’s always better to be miserable with other people. Regarding food:  no real cravings.  Pizza actually did not look good.  PIZZA!  I was nauseous just thinking about it.  I didn’t really get the sugar hangover though, which I fully expected because cupcakes and pies were a daily occurrence in December. One slight headache but it didn’t last long.  I was feeling like I could actually get through this month.

Days five and six were better energy wise, but I did notice my skin was very dry.  I wanted to attribute this to Whole30 just so I had something to complain about, but I think it was the fact that Florida was experiencing it’s one week a year of winter, and it was disgustingly cold and dry outside.  I tried very hard to limit my exposure to fresh air.   Besides the dealthy 45 degree weather, I was positive and happy and looking forward to the weekend and my birthday, however I pretty much wanted to stab my husband in the eye each and every time he spoke to me.  Or looked at me.  Or thought of me. Everything would be going fine but then Rich would talk and I became completely on edge.  This is what Whole30 calls the “kill all the things” phase.
Then it happened with everyone I was around, even my kids.  Olivia never shuts up and I could not handle her asking me questions I either didn’t know the answer to, didn’t want to answer, or didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about.  I wanted nothing to do with humans, and to just stay inside under a blanket, eat apples with almond butter and read a good book.  But I’m a mom.  I was in positive spirits if I was by myself, but once someone talked to me, asked me for something, told me they loved me, I was done.  “What the fuck did you just say to me”? came out of my mouth a few times (to my husband, not my kids.  With my kids it was more like “yes dear, what can I do for you?” with gritted teeth).  It was instant.  I could feel the moment I would snap.  Luckily by the end of day 6 I was better able to keep my shitty attitude in check and not yell at my husband or anyone else I came in contact with for nothing they did wrong besides existing in my world.   Example:  I was in my bathroom getting ready to go out to a birthday dinner with friends (kids were at the grandparents, thank God for them).  My husband came into the bedroom looking for his shoes.  He said out loud, talking to himself, “are my shoes in here?”, and I about lost it.  I was so annoyed with him for not knowing exactly where his shoes were that I wanted to scream, but instead of cursing him out loud, I cursed him in my head then went back to straightening my hair.    It was over in a second and I even told him about it later. Like a grown-up.

The place I picked for my birthday dinner was an Asian restaurant that serves a lot of seafood.  I hate seafood, and Asian is not my favorite, so it was perfect.  Everyone ate dishes with smelly fish and weird names and sauces, and I ate my plain grilled chicken on a bed of lettuce and washed it down with a glass of water with lemon.  A few of my friends ordered dessert (man I love dessert), but my incredibly amazing wonderful beautiful friend who is an incredible cook made me Whole30 compliant chocolate pudding.  It was the best dessert I had ever had.  I was, however, slightly jealous of my friends for being able to drink, but I figured this was a choice I had made knowing it was my birthday month, and very soon I would be able to have a delicious Cabernet and a frosty mug of draft beer.  Also it was nice to not wake up on my birthday with a hangover.  I’m pretty sure that’s never happened since I became of drinking age.

It was truly a great time and a great birthday.  I am blessed with the most amazing family and friends.

So how do I feel about Whole30 so far?  I did not die.  Check back next week.

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