Whole30 Week One

It was New Year’s Day 2018, and my family had a great New Year’s Eve seeing Star Wars during the day (and eating two giant tubs of very buttery popcorn, a pack of Twizzlers, and drinking root beer), going to a neighborhood party at night, drinking jello shots and some kind of apple cider moonshine concoction that was delicious (not the kids, I did not let them have moonshine), and ended the night after my four year old stepped in dog poo and completely lost it (it was really funny. Quite possibly the best moment of the night). Rich and I even managed to stay up to watch the ball drop but fell asleep right afterwards.  It was a perfect night. I woke up the next morning feeling incredibly pumped and full of energy to get the new year started and enjoy my first day on the Whole30 plan!  Just kidding, I woke up very hungover and felt like shit from all alcohol and sugar I had consumed the night before.  It was pretty awful.  The kids were still asleep when I woke up, WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, but unfortunately, I had committed to creating half of our YMCA group’s workout, so I had to get my butt up and get to the gym.  I could not let my team down, especially as it was day one on Whole30 for a few of them as well. So I dragged my ass out of bed, got dressed, grabbed a Whole30 compliant RXbar, and got to the Y.  Usually I would get a Starbucks Americano with cream and sugar and a blueberry muffin as my pre-workout breakfast of choice, but I committed to Whole30 and certainly was not going to fail on my very first meal.  *Side note: RXbars are compliant on Whole30 but only for emergencies.  They want you to eat real food.  I absolutely considered the 10 minutes I had to get to the gym an emergency.

The workout was extra hard.  My friend who came up with the first part of the workout killed us with lots of running, push-ups, froggies and bear crawls, then we had to do my part, which was working our muscles to exhaustion.  It was not pretty, but I made it and I’m so glad I went.  I spent the rest of the day eating eggs, veggies, and apples with almond butter while laying on the couch under the covers with my kids as it was freezing outside and I was still feeling hungover.  This Whole30 thing would be fine.  I could do this.

Today I am on day 7, which just so happens to be my 37th birthday, and I feel good.  I woke up NOT hungover and went to the gym to do some Body Pump.  It’s incredibly rare when I make it to Sunday Pump not hungover.  The Body Pump instructor is in my Whole30 group as well and she had a lot of energy and did a great class, so that certainly helped.  It was the best I felt all week and I am looking forward to what else this Whole30 will bring me.  I know there will still be many rough days, but I needed a day like today to motivate me to keep going, since the rest of the week wasn’t as pleasant…

The first two days were a little hard but nothing terrible.  I was tired and lacked energy but that could have easily been from the NYE partying and just the crazy busy holidays in general, and also getting back into the swing of things with work.  I ate very well and had no problem seeing my husband and kids eat things I was not supposed to.  It felt good to make the choices I made, such as eating a handful of pecans when I was low on energy instead of gummy bears, and feeling the actual benefit of a good snack rather than a sugar crash.  I also learned that I need to eat more at meals.  Because I’m so active, I need a lot of protein and healthy fats to keep my body going.

Cut to days three and four.  They were rough, like I expected them to be, but you don’t really understand it until you’re in it.  It took all of my energy to get to the gym but I’m so glad I did.  The workouts weren’t my best but just being there helped me feel a little better.  Also, people in my Facebook Whole30 group were going through the same thing, so it’s always better to be miserable with other people. Regarding food:  no real cravings.  Pizza actually did not look good.  PIZZA!  I was nauseous just thinking about it.  I didn’t really get the sugar hangover though, which I fully expected because cupcakes and pies were a daily occurrence in December. One slight headache but it didn’t last long.  I was feeling like I could actually get through this month.

Days five and six were better energy wise, but I did notice my skin was very dry.  I wanted to attribute this to Whole30 just so I had something to complain about, but I think it was the fact that Florida was experiencing it’s one week a year of winter, and it was disgustingly cold and dry outside.  I tried very hard to limit my exposure to fresh air.   Besides the dealthy 45 degree weather, I was positive and happy and looking forward to the weekend and my birthday, however I pretty much wanted to stab my husband in the eye each and every time he spoke to me.  Or looked at me.  Or thought of me. Everything would be going fine but then Rich would talk and I became completely on edge.  This is what Whole30 calls the “kill all the things” phase.
Then it happened with everyone I was around, even my kids.  Olivia never shuts up and I could not handle her asking me questions I either didn’t know the answer to, didn’t want to answer, or didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about.  I wanted nothing to do with humans, and to just stay inside under a blanket, eat apples with almond butter and read a good book.  But I’m a mom.  I was in positive spirits if I was by myself, but once someone talked to me, asked me for something, told me they loved me, I was done.  “What the fuck did you just say to me”? came out of my mouth a few times (to my husband, not my kids.  With my kids it was more like “yes dear, what can I do for you?” with gritted teeth).  It was instant.  I could feel the moment I would snap.  Luckily by the end of day 6 I was better able to keep my shitty attitude in check and not yell at my husband or anyone else I came in contact with for nothing they did wrong besides existing in my world.   Example:  I was in my bathroom getting ready to go out to a birthday dinner with friends (kids were at the grandparents, thank God for them).  My husband came into the bedroom looking for his shoes.  He said out loud, talking to himself, “are my shoes in here?”, and I about lost it.  I was so annoyed with him for not knowing exactly where his shoes were that I wanted to scream, but instead of cursing him out loud, I cursed him in my head then went back to straightening my hair.    It was over in a second and I even told him about it later. Like a grown-up.

The place I picked for my birthday dinner was an Asian restaurant that serves a lot of seafood.  I hate seafood, and Asian is not my favorite, so it was perfect.  Everyone ate dishes with smelly fish and weird names and sauces, and I ate my plain grilled chicken on a bed of lettuce and washed it down with a glass of water with lemon.  A few of my friends ordered dessert (man I love dessert), but my incredibly amazing wonderful beautiful friend who is an incredible cook made me Whole30 compliant chocolate pudding.  It was the best dessert I had ever had.  I was, however, slightly jealous of my friends for being able to drink, but I figured this was a choice I had made knowing it was my birthday month, and very soon I would be able to have a delicious Cabernet and a frosty mug of draft beer.  Also it was nice to not wake up on my birthday with a hangover.  I’m pretty sure that’s never happened since I became of drinking age.

It was truly a great time and a great birthday.  I am blessed with the most amazing family and friends.

So how do I feel about Whole30 so far?  I did not die.  Check back next week.

New Year’s Eve

As most of us parents of young children know, staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve to watch the ball drop is a hefty challenge, one that I have not succeeded in in about four years.  I prefer to stay home on NYE, get the kids to bed, drink a few glasses of wine, then fall asleep on the couch.  This NYE though, our neighborhood was having a block party of sorts so we decided that we would attend as it was only 10 houses down, there would be food, drinks, lots of kids, and we could at least say we did something.  As we headed down our block at 7:00 with one stroller full of baby and one stroller full of alcohol (Olivia walked), we figured we would have a good two hours to hang out before the kids would turn into pumpkins (this was optimistic as they usually turn into pumpkins much earlier).  This didn’t happen, as the excitement of the party and all of the kids around kept them up and having fun.  So, daddy and I drank, mingled, played with the kids, and enjoyed a nice NYE.  Around 10:30, after our third or fourth jello shot, we were ready to go home and go to bed.  When I say “we”, I meant Rich and myself.  The kids were still pretty full of energy.  Right as we were walking into our driveway, a good friend of ours who lives on the other side of the street invited us to come to another house in the neighborhood for a quick drink and some cards.  We figured “what the hell” and were on our way.  We did decided to ditch the strollers though and just bring our rolling cooler.  Brooke didn’t mind:  Brooke Cooler

I’m so glad we decided to stay up and hang out with our friends.  There were big kids playing with the little kids so we didn’t have to watch them, and we sat outside on the patio to drink champagne.  At 11:15-ish, one of the big kids came outside with a screaming Olivia in her arms.  Apparently one of the dogs had an accident in the house and my very squeamish four year old stepped in it:

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This was our cue to leave.  We said our goodbyes, packed up our kids, then headed home.  Once there, we put the baby to bed, and Rich, Olivia and I laid on the couch to watch the ball drop.  Olivia didn’t make it.  She was passed out by 11:55.  Rich and I did though, then passed out right after.  It was probably the best new year’s I’ve ever had.

Another Obnoxious Whole30 Post

Yes, that’s right. Another blogger posting about their New Year Whole30 journey, starting January first and that will most likely end January third. Here’s the deal: I’m super fit but I eat pretty shitty, plus I drink a lot of wine and smoke the (more than) occasional cigarette. I don’t feel great on a daily basis. I feel good sometimes, probably because I work out a lot, but if I didn’t work out I know I would feel much, much worse. I’m sick of relying on Starbucks to give me energy and feeling crappy each morning with a sugar, or alcohol, hangover. It’s time to get my diet to meet my fitness dedication.

Which won’t be easy. I love candy. Swedish Fish are truly gifts from God. It’s the perfect food. Cheesecake is a food group, and pizza is how I get my dose lycopene. I did switch from Haribou gummy bears to the organic ones, but not out of health. They’re softer and juicier.

The reason I’m doing this January first is because I completely disgusted myself with the amount of crap I gorged on in the month of December. My daughters birthday, Christmas, after Christmas, and what is promising to be a very sugar and alcohol filled New Year. It’s my last hurrah. I ate so much horribly chemical crap the past few days that I know I will have a massive sugar headache for about two weeks and will be a nightmare around my family (they are thrilled, btw).

I never do diets. In fact, I don’t really prepare for things. I did Savage Race two months ago without doing any actual distance running in the prior three months, and spent the night before at the Imagine Dragons concert two hours away. Oh and I drank a lot too. On three hours of sleep I completed the race with my team and had a blast. Except for the ice bath. That is the most awful, painful thing ever, worse than hours of labor and two c-sections. Generally, I would not think of starting a new regime in January when my birthday is the 7th, and before I really knew what I was getting into and just said “ok” to Whole30, I figured that would be my cheat day. Now that I know more about the plan and understand its benefits, I plan on not drinking, no cake, and being wholly compliant.

I’m not doing this just for myself. I need to be and do better for my family. I want to learn how to make healthy but delicious home cooked meals and teach my children that fruit snacks and gummy bears are not a good group. At just three years old, Olivia had to be put under general anesthesia because she had 10 cavities. I told myself that it was because we have hereditarily bad teeth and getting her to brush causes me to learn new wrestling techniques, but the truth is I was doing something wrong. My kids shouldn’t be eating fruit snacks everyday and that’s my fault. This won’t be an easy change for any of us at first, but it’s much needed.

So, here’s to 2018! Maybe it be the year I truly get my shit together!

Happy New Year everyone!

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love Christmas, especially now that I have little kids that can experience the joy and magic of the season like I remember when I was little. The look on my daughters’ faces when they see the tree all decorated and lit up for the first time makes my heart leap. The delight when we go around our neighborhood to look at Christmas lights. The amazement when they wake up on Christmas morning to find a horde of presents under the tree, and knowing that magical Santa spent his one night a year delivering my children all the presents they asked for. Oh Santa, how beloved he is when he leaves Shopkins and Nom Noms wrapped up all perfectly for my four year old. “Thank you Santa!” Olivia cheers. Yes, thank you Santa.

So let’s talk about this: Santa did not potty train my child. Santa did not get vomited on by my sick children. Santa did not have to deal with my three year old’s constant whining and tantrums. But Santa gets all the praise on Christmas morning for getting my girls everything they asked for and more. I call bullshit. I’m sick of Santa getting all the credit for my hard work. All year we tell our kids to behave because “Santa is watching”. “Mommy, I want that for Christmas” says Olivia as she points to every single toy in Target. “Ok, we’ll ask Santa and be a good girl and maybe he’ll bring it for you”.

This year, I’m taking Christmas back. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea that Santa brings my girls presents that they asked for. It’s magical and beautiful. But I’m making sure that the “from” on some of the Christmas presents under the tree says “Mom & Dad”. Like the cool princess scooter Olivia has been asking for, and the Moana doll that she’s been waiting for. Sorry Santa, I’m taking a bit of your credit this year.

I want my girls to believe in Santa for as long as possible, and I definitely want them to understand why we have Christmas in the first place (that’s for another post), but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little appreciation from my kids. Mommy listened to all of your requests, braved Black Friday and crowded Targets to get the perfect presents, and stayed up late wrapping gifts. I deserve some of Santa’s credit. All us moms deserve some of Santa’s credit. WE ARE SANTA!

So while I write “From Mommy and Daddy” on a few of the present tags under the tree, the truth is, when Olivia is tearing apart her gifts in record pace, going from one to the next in .005 seconds, what it says on the tag won’t make a difference. She won’t even look at the tag. Also, she can’t read yet.

You win again this year Santa. You win again.

Welcome to My World

Oh hello there!  Let me introduce myself to you.  My name is Kelly Begeny.  You will not pronounce it correctly so don’t even try.  You can refer to me as KB.  Or Kelly.  Or Girl-Mommy.  Or whatever.  It doesn’t matter to me, just as long as you read my blog (and follow me on Insta!). I’m a wife of a wonderful man named Richard and a mother of two little girls, Olivia (4) and Brooke (1).  This is my family:

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Olivia

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Brooke

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We have an amazing family photographer that can easily capture the beauty of my two little girls in between the tantrums, meltdowns, and blown-out diapers.

This is my real family:

I am sure there are many of you who can relate.

Olivia, my sweet, elder child, thinks she’s a princess and also likes to say “butthole” all the time.  As in “you’re a butthole baby sister”.  The other thing that is incredibly charming about my four year old is her obsession with nipples, especially mommy’s.  As in, she pulls down my shirt to point out my nipples whenever she gets the chance.  In public.  Then lifts up her shirt to show off hers. It’s a great bonding experience.

Brooke, my wild one year old, absolutely loves to stick her hands in toilets, especially when one is sitting on it.  Sometimes she even throws things in the toilet, like remotes or iPhones.  You may be wondering why the baby even has a chance to stick her hand in a toilet at home while in use, but we Begenys enjoy an open-door policy, mainly because it’s either that or listen to pounding followed by little creepy baby hands sticking out under the door.  You parent your way, I’ll parent mine.

Richard, my wonderful, amazing husband, has very quickly learned to focus solely on his phone without any idea of the chaos surrounding him.  His talent is extraordinary!  Olivia could be demanding milk and when not given in time, melts down saying “I want it I want milk!” all the while I am chasing the baby trying to catch her before she throws the Kindle Fire Stick in the toilet.  Oh, and my dinner is now cold.  People wonder how I lost the baby weight so quickly.

I drink a lot of wine (how about that segue!).  I love wine.  I didn’t drink much before I had kids, but I certainly do now.  I prefer red, just so you know.  I also workout a lot, mainly to burn off the wine.  The other part of my life is my job.  I work in the technology field in Channel and Marketing, and most days I work from home.  This means that my husband thinks I lounge around on the couch all day with my laptop while watching soaps and playing on Facebook.  This is not what happens at all.  Be it an office setting or my home office, the work is the same, I just do it from home.  Which can be very boring and lonely, btw.

So, here are some tips for working moms, whether working from home or commuting:

  1. Dress your kids in what they will wear the next day for bedtime.  This way you can just get them up and they’re ready to go!  No argument on what to wear!
  2. Never answer the first call from school or daycare.  Let it go to voicemail so they then have to call daddy to come pick up your kid with the 99.5 fever.  Do answer the second call if they can’t get a hold of daddy.  You knew your kid looked a little flushed this morning when you dropped them off but decided not to take their temperature so you really didn’t know for sure if they’re sick.
  3. Sometimes cupcakes make a great breakfast.  Just make sure they get the gummy bear vitamins to make up for the lack of nutritional content.

I have a lot more incredibly helpful parenting tips to share with you but I can’t just give everything away on the first post.  Follow me for more life-changing advice and incredibly interesting and educational parenting content!  Welcome, everyone.  Welcome to my world.